Finger Pointing

I think I should rewind and explain why and how Nick and I are currently running as much/as far/as fast as we are. If you are already a runner, our much/far/fast numbers are not that impressive...but if you are anything like the real me, the me that I was just over six months ago...then our numbers are insane, impossible, unrealistic and deserve some illumination.

Six months ago I would have told you that you had suffered a psychotic break and that you were living in an alternate world if you had even suggested that I would soon be training for a marathon, running 12 miles at a time, and averaging an 11 minute mile. I may have even jokingly asked you to put down/pass me your crack pipe. I was a chubby bubby who loved good food and good wine. I was dating a wonderful man who loved me exactly as I was. I enjoyed being active, but did not like exercise. I had no reason to change.

So why did I change? How did I become a running addicted, marathon obsessed, exercise loving nut case? A simple chain of events, some well meaning but still very guilty friends & family, and my competitive ego formed the perfect transformation cocktail.

Let's review who is to blame for the bizarre metamorphoses Nick and I have experienced.

Guilty Party #1: Gia
Before I point the first finger of blame for my current running addiction on Gia, I would like to say that I really like her. Gia and I became friends a year and a half ago, after I started dating Nick. She had been the best friend of Nick's first wife, Michelle (who died from cancer). The fact that Gia was nice to me and that we became friends says a LOT for Gia's character - I can't help but think I wouldn't be so nice if my best friend Denece died and her husband George brought over a new girlfriend. Generally speaking, Gia is a better person than I am. It's not hard.

Anyhoodle. So I am up at Gia's house and she has this book "Body for Life" by Bill Phillips. The book explains a 12 week food and exercise plan designed to dramatically improve your body. Gia is showing it to me because she is going to follow the program. I try to shield my confusion, because I think that Gia already has a fabulous figure...but who am I to judge? http://bodyforlife.com/

Guilty Party #2: Dinky-T
My youngest daughter wants to look at the book. Mr. Phillips is pretty slick, his book smacks of an infomercial. The inside cover is chock-full of before and after pictures. Testimonial after testimonial of how everyday fat people transformed their body into rock hard, muscle-bound, you-can't-find-any-cellulite superstars. And my sweet little baby looks up at me with those big brown six year old eyes and says, "Look mommy," as she points to an extremely obese woman's before and after photos, "she's a chubby bubby, and if she can do it, so can you, because you're a chubby bubby."

Ouch.

I swore I could feel my abnormally high self esteem wither and die like a salt soaked slug in a matter of seconds. Why is it that when I am fat I don't really realize the full extent of my girth and when I am thin I still see fat? Does anyone else have the same dually warped body image issues? Mirrors that lie in both directions?